From the Big Red Chair

“Mom, you can’t just sit in this chair and stare out the window,” she said gently.

Her hand rested on my knee, and my heart was comforted by her concern and compassion.  I nodded and placed my hand over hers, hoping the gesture spoke the words of gratitude that I could not.  Something inside me wanted to protest. I couldn’t explain. Insight was beyond my reach and my energy. I knew with a wordless “knowing”---that sitting in the big red chair, looking out the window, was exactly what I needed to do.

Perhaps the Spirit had already whispered gentle encouragement to my soul and invited me to walk the path towards healing, but that was yet to be revealed. That morning, all I could do was tell my beloved youngest daughter of my love, pray for her as she too grieved the loss of her sister, and plead for safe travel as she returned to college. I didn’t know then that the big red chair was a place of renewal and healing.

Years have passed, and the big red chair is still where I pray and write and watch the seasons reveal their wisdom.  It is the place where I examine life and sometimes ask, “What do I believe now that this has happened.”    It is the place where I learned when we walk through the valley we don’t have to be afraid of shadows.  And, most of all, it is where I discovered God does keep his promises. Even though at times I was blinded by tears,  I can look back now and see. I was never left alone. 


And so as I write from the big red chair, this is my prayer: Precious, Lord, this is another day and a chance to live and love again. I don't know what it will bring, but make me ready for whatever it may be. If I am to stand up, help me to stand bravely. If I am to sit still, help me to sit quietly. If I am to lie low, help me to do it gallantly. Help me, Lord, to live with my eyes wide open to your ever faithful signs of encouragement. May your Holy Spirit equip me and use me for your kingdom's sake. Stir my heart and open my mouth that I may speak boldly of your love. Make these words more than words, Lord, and give me the Spirit of Jesus.